Summertime and the Living Ain’t Easy
Summer doesn’t summer like it used to. That feeling of finishing all your schoolwork, rushing home, and dumping your backpack for the next 12 weeks, just isn’t easily recaptured in adulthood. When we were kids, summer meant popsicles, unstructured days, staying up late, and the best boredom life had to offer.
Now that we’re grown, summer can’t always live up to the endless possibilities of our childhood. Sure, kids are still off school and the smell of sunscreen, freshly cut grass, and chlorine can make us all nostalgic. But parents still have to parent even on summer break.
Summer still holds joy, but with a side of responsibility. We can bask in the warmth of the sun, but now we need to make sure everyone is wearing sunscreen (after researching what’s the best sunscreen for babies). We catch a parade, but we also must get everyone there on time to get a good seat and make sure everyone has their water bottle. We can soak up hours by the pool but only with a side of vigilant lifeguarding. We can take everyone for ice cream, but this time we’re buying (and later laundering the chocolate-stained shirts). There is so much to love about summer, but also the work of parenting goes on.
We’re big fans of reminding parents that there’s no such thing as a vacation with your kids. You’re just parenting in a different location. Still enjoyable, special, incredible—but also different. You are responsible for all the planning, packing, bedtimes, and meals for not only yourself but also tiny humans who are much less flexible than anticipated.
Around this time of year, we often hear a lot from parents who are lamenting how challenging their summer is, and we wanted to take a minute to just validate that.
For parents who work outside the home, the childcare Tetris adds an extra layer of difficulty. Not only are you stretching yourself financially, but also, you’re competing for limited spots, juggling a complicated schedule, and dealing with all the trials and tribulations that come with kids in the middle of transitions. Running your kids to and from camp can mean that instead of the unscheduled relaxation you associate with summer, you manage a complicated choreography to get everyone where they need to be.
Human brains are intrinsically bad at multi-tasking. We’re built to live in the moment and slip into the “flow” of focusing on the problem in front of us. But modern summer parenting is often a barrage of disruption due to shifting schedules, kid interruptions, and loss of childcare.
There are things we can do to make things easier.
Be realistic. We can set expectations accordingly and acknowledge that we may not be sipping Capri Sun with no responsibilities anymore, but summer still presents opportunities for seasonal fun.
Be choosy. We can choose to intentionally say no. Two things guaranteed to make parenting more stressful are transitions and rushing. The more unscheduled time we can build in for our kids, the easier our parenting lives will be. Choosing what things are worth adding some stress to your life is one way to manage the chaos.
Be bold. Lean into old school summer. Instead of setting your sights on the perfect summer, aim for a summer where you and your kids get to exercise your creativity. Boredom is the birthplace of innovation. Every time a kid whines, “I’m bored,” you can consider yourself a success.
Be selfish. Schedule your own un-scheduling. This means carving out a couple of hours or even a weekend if you’ve feeling bold to have someone else be primary caregiver while you get to choose to do absolutely nothing. We tend to try to fill all our free time with productivity so sometimes we need to make being unproductive the goal to allow ourselves that time to relax.
The hard truth is that try as we might, parts of summer might just be hard. For many families, the idea of organizing an 80’s or 90’s style summer with free range kids isn’t possible because they need childcare. When camps have limited hours or close weeks before school starts, it might be impossible to avoid additional schedule changes or achieve uninterrupted work hours. A lot of the things that make summer more fun (childcare, vacations, domestic help, etc.) are also expensive.
Sometimes, it just helps to acknowledge that those things are difficult; it’s not just you. So, consider this a respectful salute from all of us to everyone out there just trying their best.
