One and Done: The Many Reasons I Chose to “Only” Have One Child

All the reasons why one writer chose the one-kid life—and why more parents are doing the same.

By Jesse Sposato July 2025

Featuring Kellie Wicklund, our owner and clinical director

For most of my 20s and 30s, the question of whether to have kids ran through my mind with no obvious answer. My partner and I got together when I was 28, so it wasn’t a matter of whether I’d meet someone (and I knew I didn’t want to have a kid solo). It was about whether or not I, and then we, wanted children at all—for all the usual reasons. We enjoyed peaceful weekends, freedom, traveling and making last-minute plans. We never really “decided,” but we eventually left things up to chance. Wouldn’t you know it, within a few months I was pregnant at age 38.

On the plus side (besides the obvious): No more choices to make! But there was a twist I hadn’t seen coming. I’d been so unsure about having a kid at all, that it had never even occurred to me to wonder whether I might want a second baby. And yet, soon after my daughter—who’s now 5—was born, I heard the question again (and again), from curious family members and strangers alike.

Because I was already an older mom the first time around, if we’d wanted to try for a second, there was a limited window to make that choice. Here I was again in an endless decision loop. So, I started collecting information, informally interviewing anyone who would tell me about the advantages and disadvantages of being “one and done” versus having two kids (more than that was solidly off the table). It was this casual research—and a host of other reasons—that eventually led me to decide that the one-kid path was right for my family. Read on to learn how I arrived there.