Psychotherapy


Stephanie A. Heck, Ph. D.

 

Professional Counseling and Psychotherapy for individuals and couples facing issues around pregnancy and new parenting

Dr. Heck’s practice has a special focus on supporting, counseling, and providing psychotherapy treatment for parents at all stages.  Her practice also includes more general assessment, consultation, and treatment of adults struggling with relationship problems, anxiety, and other mood symptoms and disorders.

Dr. Heck has a particular interest in helping new and experienced parents cope with issues of parenthood. 

The transition to parenthood can be a difficult phase of life.  Parents often struggle with many issues, including postpartum emotions, parents’ return to work, decisions about childcare, the couple’s own relationship, relationships with extended family, and the general hassles of daily life.  Despite the many joys of having a new child, these stresses can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed, burned out, anxious, or depressed.  Caring for a baby or child can also call up positive and negative experiences that the parent had as a child with their own parents, which can in turn have an impact on the new parent-child relationship. 

The challenges facing parents can be amplified if a child has a medical issue, disability, or special needs.  Parents of older children, adolescents, or adults may face other types of  issues, including managing transitions in their children’s lives, and managing relationship difficulties with their children. 

Dr. Heck’s practice has a special focus on supporting, counseling, and providing psychotherapy treatment for parents at all stages.  Her practice also includes more general assessment, consultation, and treatment of adults struggling with relationship problems, anxiety, and other mood symptoms and disorders.

Dr. Heck’s office is located at 8028 Germantown Avenue in the quaint Chestnut Hill neighborhood of Philadelphia.  It is easily accessible by bus, train, or car.  Parking is just outside the door.

Contact Information:

telephone:  215-991-5848

e-mail:  stephanie@drheck.net

web:  www.drheck.net

 


 

 

 

Colic: Coping and Caring 

by Stephanie Heck, Ph.D.

Licensed Psychologist
   

 

If you are one of the 40% of parents who have (or had) a colicky baby, then you know that having an infant who cries intensely for long periods of time can push you to your breaking point.  No matter what you do during the colic "witching hours," it can be impossible to soothe your baby.

   

If the colicky baby is your first baby, then you are in an especially hard position, since you probably think that this is how babies are, as a rule!  You may wonder why no one warned you that infants cry non-stop and that you will not sleep much for weeks, possibly months.

 

As a result, you may feel incompetent, frustrated, angry, and even unloved by your baby.  And you may wonder if having a baby was a huge mistake! 

 

I believe that colicky babies, no matter when they are born in the birth-order, can also bring up past traumas for parents.  For example, if you had a mother or father who yelled at you, and then you have a colicky baby, the old feelings of being yelled at may resurface in the face of a baby who cries non-stop.  Even though it may be irrational to experience your baby the same way you experienced your parent, it can happen when you are in an already vulnerable state.  This can get in the way of initial bonding with your baby, which is critically important to both of you. 

 

People tell you that the baby will outgrow the crying eventually, which is supposed to be reassuring.  "Eventually," however, might as well mean "in an eternity" when you have a baby screaming in your house for hours on end.

 

The psychological impact of having a colicky baby can be enormous, and can exacerbate the often already-difficult transition-to-parenthood phase.  At a time when you are already physically and emotionally exhausted from going through the tremendous ordeal of childbirth (or witnessing childbirth) and need sleep to heal and recover, having a colicky baby adds insult to injury!  Already weakened from deep fatigue and emotional upheaval, having a colicky baby means you have to also endure the stress of being unable to soothe your new child.


Of course, it is true that colic is a temporary condition.  And if you have a colicky infant, s/he will grow out of it.  (Phew.)

 

If you are in the throes of dealing with a colicky baby, I have a few suggestions for you:

 

  1. Go easy on yourself.  It can be easy to feel you are to blame or that you are not a good enough parent to yournew baby.  Instead of blaming yourself, simplify your goal to things like: (1) trying to help your baby and (2) caring about your baby's well-being.  Know that you are doing the best you can, and that no one is judging you.
  2. Talk to other parents of colicky babies.  Comparing war stories with other parents who have raised or are raising colicky infants can be a great help.  There are even online forums for parents of colicky babies, including one at www.parenting.com/colic.
  3. Know that it's OK to be angry.  It can be hard to admit, but anger is a common feeling when you have a colicky baby.  Parents of colicky babies are often mad and frustrated due to being physically and emotionally depleted and severely sleep-deprived.  It's even ok to be mad at your baby.  And talking about those feelings will help to keep you from acting on them (we don't want any shaken babies out there)!
  4. Invite help.  Whenever possible, take a break.  Ask a family member, friend, or neighbor to hold or rock the baby while you sleep or go for a walk.  Getting a breather from the baby will help you to get some perspective, and will help you to cope better when you're reunited.
  5. Go ahead and cry, too.  Many parents worry that crying in front of their babies will somehow damage them.  Trust me, this is not the case.  If you need to cry, then do.  It won't hurt your baby.  And the release may help you to cope.

    6. Dr. Heck can be reached by phone at 215-991-5848